Breaking Points

Text focus: Genesis 32:22-32

As we continue our journey through this sermon series, we have seen that God’s work has never depended on perfect people. Abraham and Sarah reminded us that God is faithful in keeping promises even in messy or impossible situations. God proved that nothing is impossible. Isaac, Jacob, and Esau showed us that God’s promises survive the actions of messy people. Even when trust was broken, families were divided, and people made painful choices, God’s faithfulness continued. Then last week we followed Jacob into the wilderness and discovered that God’s grace pursues messy people. Jacob was running away from the consequences of his own actions, but God met him at Bethel and showed him grace. God did not wait for Jacob to become perfect before coming near. God pursued Jacob, and promised to be with Jacob wherever he went.

And now, in Genesis 32, we encounter Jacob again several years later, this time God is continuing the work of changing Jacob. Because sometimes God’s greatest work in us happens when we are willing to stop running and wrestle. Wrestle with the messy parts of ourselves, our past, our fears, our guilt and regrets, the systems we live in, our calling, and our faith.

So as I mentioned it has been several years. When we encountered Jacob last week at Bethel, he had deceived his father. He had betrayed his brother. He had run away. But God met him and promised, “I am with you and will keep you wherever you go.” God was not done working on Jacob.

After that dream, Jacob continued his journey to his uncle Laban’s household. When he arrives at the well near Haran Jacob meets Rachel, learning quickly she is the daughter of the uncle he had come to see he is overjoyed. Jacob then goes to work for Laban for seven years and asks that his wages be Rachel’s hand in marriage,

but it seems the genes of deception and manipulation are strong in this messy family,

because Laban tricks Jacob, instead of Rachel, Jacob is deceived into marrying her sister Leah. The deceiver was now being deceived. Because of this trickery, Jacob spends seven more years working for Laban, so he can marry Rachel also.

Yet God was still working.

Jacob eventually married Rachel and Leah, Genesis 29:30-31 tells us that Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah, and that God saw that Leah was unloved. There is a whole drama in Genesis 30, and we will definitely need to come back to this at some point, but for the sake of brevity today, we will note that there was inequity in the way that Jacob cared for the two women and there was jealousy between them. Eventually Jacob ends up with 12 sons*, 6 from Leah, 2 from Bilhah (Rachel's handmaid), 2 from Zilpah (Leah's handmaid) and 1 from Rachel. As his family grew so did his wealth.

*There is a 13th son born to Rachel many years after our text

This led to jealousy from his uncle Laban and his sons, who had not been as prosperous and so the Lord came to Jacob and said it was time to go home. He escapes while Laban is out shearing the sheep, and Laban angrily pursues him. Laban catches up and with God’s intervention the two decide to make a covenant with each other and part ways in peace.

God is still working.

So Laban and Jacob part ways and he is on his way home, but there was one problem. Esau is at home. The brother he had manipulated and stolen from. The brother who had threatened to kill him. And Esau has heard of Jacob’s journey, so he has set out with 400 men to meet Jacob. It is on the eve of that meeting that we encounter Jacob in our scripture today, 20 years after Jacob tricked their father into giving him the blessing.

Jacob is terrified. So scared that he sent everyone and everything off ahead of him, and he stayed in camp, alone. The past he ran from is now coming to meet him. But before Jacob faces Esau, he must first face God.

Most of us have experienced a breaking point. A moment where we realize we cannot keep going the way we have been going. Sometimes it happens because life becomes overwhelming. Sometimes it happens because circumstances are outside of our control. Sometimes it happens because God begins to reveal something in us that needs to change. We spend so much of life trying to avoid the difficult things. We avoid conversations. We avoid pain. We avoid admitting where we are struggling.

But sometimes the very thing we are trying to avoid is the place where God wants to meet us. Jacob spent his whole life running. Running from consequences. Running from conflict. Running from who he was. But here in Genesis 32, Jacob finally stops running. And he wrestles.

Genesis tells us: “Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until daybreak.”

Jacob is alone. He has spent much of his life insulated by others, but like last week, Jacob finds himself alone. In the past when things got hard Jacob, manipulated situations, negotiated plans, and schemed for what he wanted. But now he is alone. And again in this solitude, God meets him.

But this time instead of a stairway to heaven, God comes as a man to wrestle with Jacob. Hosea suggests this was an angel; some Christian scholars have interpreted this as a pre-incarnate Jesus, and some Jewish scholars will tell you that it was a metaphorical struggle. The Bible does not tell us every detail of this mysterious figure, but as the story unfolds, we come to understand as Jacob did that it was not just a physical struggle. This is a spiritual encounter.

And so the question becomes, why would God wrestle with Jacob? The scripture today would suggest, it was because Jacob needed to stop running. God wrestled with Jacob, because God loved Jacob too much to leave him in the state of fear and flight. Jacob had spent his life manipulating people and circumstances, but before God could fulfill the promise through him, Jacob himself had to be transformed.

The wrestling wasn't about defeating Jacob, it was about preparing him to face what he was afraid of. It was about changing him into someone who sought forgiveness and reconciliation rather than running from consequences. God wrestled with Jacob to make him into the person God had always intended him to be.

Many of us are more like Jacob than we'd like to admit. We may not have stolen a birthright or deceived a family member, but we know what it's like to try to manage our own lives. We try to control outcomes, solve every problem ourselves, and carry burdens that were never meant to rest on our shoulders. We spend so much energy trying to become who we think we need to be that we forget who God has already called us to be.

Then life brings us to our own Jabbok River: a diagnosis, a broken relationship, uncertainty about the future, the experience of grief or disappointment, or a decision we cannot make on our own. We come to the end of ourselves, and there, God meets us. Not to condemn us. Not to defeat us.

But to transform us.

God meets us at our breaking points, and in our struggles, God does not waste those struggles, and sometimes, God wants us to stop running and wrestle with them, because God is preparing us for what comes next. Before Jacob could face Esau, he first had to encounter God. Before he could receive reconciliation, he had to receive a new identity.

The same is often true for us. God is less interested in simply changing our circumstances than in changing us. In the midst of the struggle, God is shaping our character, deepening our faith, and reminding us that our identity is not found in our successes, our failures, or the names others have given us. Our identity is found in being God's beloved children.

So if you find yourself wrestling today, whether a new struggle or something you have been faithfully wrestling with for years, don't assume God has abandoned you. It may be that God is closer than ever. Whether you are fresh for the fight, or barely hanging on by your fingertips, know that God's grip on you is stronger than yours on God.

The struggle is not always a sign that something has gone wrong. Sometimes it is the very place where God is doing God's deepest work of preparing you, transforming you, and calling you into the person God created you to be.

And we all wrestle in different ways. Sometimes God works through prayer and listening. Sometimes through Scripture and study. Sometimes through trusted people who walk beside us. No matter how or what you are wrestling with, God meets us in the wrestling.

As Jacob wrestles with God, something happens. God touches Jacob’s hip and injures him. Jacob walks away with a limp. That is a strange blessing. Jacob is blessed, but he is wounded. He is changed both physically and spiritually. Jacob enters the wrestling match as Jacob. He leaves as Israel. God gives him a new name. A new identity. A new future.

The man who spent his life grasping now learns to depend. The man who relied on his own strength now walks differently. Literally. Jacob’s limp becomes a reminder that “I encountered God.” I want you to notice something else here, during the struggle Jacob says, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me.”

It is important that we understand Jacob is not blessed because he wins. Jacob is blessed because he stays. He stays in the struggle. He stays in the relationship. He stays with God. This is important because faith is not about avoiding questions. Faith is not about pretending everything is easy. Faith is not about never struggling. Faith is about bringing our struggles to God.

There likely have been and will be times for each of us when we wrestle with grief, disappointment, unanswered prayers, uncertainty, our own failures. And sometimes we wonder, is it okay that I struggle with God? Jacob reminds us that Yes, not only is it okay, sometimes it is necessary. God is big enough for our questions. God is strong enough for our fears. God is faithful enough to meet us in the struggle.

The same God who found Jacob at Bethel is the God who meets Jacob at his breaking point. God is faithful. God is present in our struggles. Just like when God wrestled with Jacob, sometimes our wrestling is the place where transformation begins.

This week, I want to invite you to identify the place where you are wrestling. Wrestling looks different for many of us. You may be wrestling with a calling that would require you to change something in your life; you may be wrestling with injustice, or with the consequences of a harm you have caused, or a harm that has been done to you or a loved one. You may be wrestling with illness or worry about another’s illness, or grief for a loved one. You may be wrestling with doubt or questions. You may be wrestling with a difficult decision, or how to share difficult news.

Whatever you are wrestling with or trying to avoid wrestling with, bring that to God. Not with the expectation that God will immediately remove it. But with the trust that God will meet you there in the midst of your struggle.

You may have noticed another sticky note in your bulletin today. On your sticky note I want you to write: “God is with me in the wrestling.” As we have with the last two, you will place it somewhere you will see it. Because the goal is not to avoid every struggle. The goal is to discover God in the middle of it.

Jacob went into the night afraid. Afraid of Esau. Afraid of his past. Afraid of what would happen next. But he encountered God. And when morning came, Jacob walked away different. He was changed physically with a limp. But more importantly his identity changed. He was wounded. But he was transformed.

God did not leave Jacob on the banks of the river alone, because God loved Jacob, and doesn't give up on messy people.

God works through messy people.

God finds us.

God stays with us.

God changes us.

And God will use us.

The same God who wrestled with Jacob is the God who meets us today. So whatever you are wrestling with... Hold on to God. Because God is holding on too.

Thanks be to God.

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Genesis tells us he leaves Beersheba and heads toward Haran.

But what we need to notice is what this journey represents. Jacob is not simply traveling. Jacob is escaping. He is leaving behind the consequences of his actions. He is leaving behind the people he hurt. He is leaving behind the life he knew. And now he finds himself alone with nothing.

Just a rock for a pillow and a long road ahead. Have you ever felt like Jacob?

Maybe not literally running away, but emotionally, spiritually?

You find yourself in a place where you think: “How did I get here?” “Where do I go from here?” “Can anything good come from this?”

There are moments in life where we hit our own wilderness. Moments where we feel alone and uncertain. Moments where we wonder if our past has disqualified us from our future. But here is the first lesson from Jacob’s story:

When Jacob reaches rock bottom, God does not walk away. God moves closer.

Jacob thought he was running away from everything.

But he was actually running into the place where God would meet him.

Because God pursues messy people.

The most amazing part of this story is that Jacob does nothing to earn this encounter. He does not stop and apologize. He does not promise to change or prove himself worthy. Jacob goes to sleep, and God comes.

The passage says: “And he dreamed that there was a stairway set upon the earth, the top of it reaching to heaven; and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it.”

This image is powerful. The separation between heaven and earth is crossed. God comes near and the direction here matters. Jacob is not climbing up to God. God is coming down to Jacob.

This is grace. As Methodists, we would call this prevenient grace. The grace of God that goes before us. The grace that reaches for us before we even know to reach for God.

Jacob does not find God because Jacob is finally good enough. Jacob finds God because God was already pursuing him. Notice when God speaks what is said... “I am the Lord, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac.”

The first thing God does is remind Jacob of the promise. The same promise given to Abraham. The same promise carried through Isaac. The promise that continues through Jacob even in his imperfection.

Next, God says, “Know that I am with you and will keep you wherever you go.”

God does not say, go fix yourself and then I’ll be with you, or I will be with you after you become the person worthy of this blessing. God does not tell Jacob that he has to fix his messiness to deserve being in God’s presence.

God says, “I am with you.” I am with you right now, and I will continue to be with you wherever you go. Jacob expected judgment and punishment. But instead, he encountered grace. And that grace does not leave us unchanged.

This encounter started with prevenient grace. Jacob encounters God’s grace before he has repaired the damage he has caused. God’s grace does not ignore his failures, but it meets him before he has everything fixed. Receiving grace does not mean pretending our choices did not matter. As grace works in our lives, it gives us the courage to face what happened and become someone different.

God’s justifying grace begins to work in Jacob here, but we don’t see the repentance that accompanies forgiveness; the work of Grace continues long after Bethel. Calling Jacob to face the harm he has caused, so he can find forgiveness and restoration, and we will have an opportunity to see how it is continuing to work in Jacob’s life next week. You see this week we saw Jacob go from a man afraid of his own shadow, of all the dark, harmful, shameful things he had done. A man who believed he was alone. To a man that understood his relationship to the God that created and blessed him. A God who showed him mercy in place of judgement, and belonging in place of criticism.

But God’s work did not end that day with Jacob, he was not immediately cleared of his messiness, God’s grace continued to work in him. You see God met Jacob exactly where he was, but God loved Jacob too much to leave him there. Next week we will hear how God’s grace continues to work on transforming Jacob into the person he was created to be.

Because grace does not simply forgive our past. Grace transforms our future.

One of the most beautiful truths in this story is that God knows exactly who Jacob is. God is not fooled. God knows his failures, his harmful choices, and his brokenness and God still pursues him.

And God knows you. God knows every thought you have had, ever action you have taken, every intention good and bad, every hair on your head. And God still pursues you.

That is the good news: God’s promises are bigger than Jacob’s failures, and they are bigger than ours

God made a promise to Jacob, one that is still there for us today, I am with you and I will go with you wherever you go. None of Jacob’s failures were bigger than God’s promises, and nothing we can do is bigger than God’s love for us. Paul writes in Romans 8: “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come… nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Nothing.

Not our past.

Not our mistakes.

Not our failures.

Not our regrets.

Nothing can separate us from God’s love.

Now, that does not mean our choices do not matter. Jacob’s choices caused real pain. His deception damaged relationships. And part of the work that God’s grace was doing in Jacob was helping him find the courage to face those failures, But God’s grace was greater than Jacob’s failures. This doesn’t mean that Jacob will not have any other failures, in fact he has a few and we will talk about those more in future weeks.

What’s important to recognize here is that God’s grace is greater than all those failures, and it is greater than ours. Today Jacob gives us an answer to the question: Can God still use me after what I have done?

Jacob’s story says, tells us yes. Because God is not limited by our shame. Our shame may tell us that we are disqualified. Our shame may say that our mistakes define us. We may feel the need to run away. Sometimes we find ourselves in wilderness because of our own choices. Sometimes we are there because life has wounded us. Either way, God meets us there and says, “I am with you. You are still my beloved. Come closer.” And God rarely intends for us to stay in the wilderness alone.

If you are carrying something today, hurt or regret, a season of life you wish you could redo. A place where you feel like you failed or were failed.

Hear this: Your worst moment is not the end of your story.

God is with you.

God meets us in our shame, anger, and confusion and calls us into grace.

God’s grace meets us before we are fixed, loves us before we are worthy, and transforms us so we can become people who participate in God’s healing work.

This week, I want to invite you to write these words on your post-it note: “God’s grace is bigger than this.”

Then put it next to the one from last week that reminded us God is still working, and every time you see it, let it be a reminder that nothing is bigger than God’s promise.

Because the same God who met Jacob in the wilderness is the God who meets us today.

Jacob was running and alone. He went to sleep afraid and carrying the weight of everything he had done. But when he woke up, he realized something immensely important: “Surely the Lord is in this place.”

Jacob thought he was alone, but he was never alone. And maybe that is the word someone needs to hear today. Your story is not over. You are not alone, God is with you now and goes with you wherever you go.

Because nothing can separate us from the love of God, and the same God who pursues us, stays with us, transforms us, and uses us. And God has a special way of working through messy people. Amen for that.